we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
