I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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