All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
