So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
