Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
