so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
