There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
