Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I want her autograph on my taint
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
