i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
