We won't sleep together?
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
