Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
