the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
