Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
