susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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