I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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