Christians are straight up FREAKS
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
