So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
