Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
