remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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