She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
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