no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
