operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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