Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
