Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
