He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
