brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
