she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
