I want to walk on stilts...naked
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
