it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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