I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
