and you said cock pushups were impossible
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
The beer is more important than you right now.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
