Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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