Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
