i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
you didnt know i had herpes?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
