my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
