I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
