Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
