I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
