whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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