Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
