im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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