Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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