So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
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