If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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