i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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