Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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