went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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