sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
