i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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