I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
