Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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